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So, at first I was really hesitant about listening to/downloading 808s and Heartbreak.
Love Lockdown had just come across as really rough, and it was a completely unanticipated deviation from 'normal' Kanye.
And to be honest, I just wasn't expecting another album so quickly. HA.
But the more songs that were released, the more I liked the album.
And then I read an article about how Kanye's album was released so quickly because he had absolutely no one to talk to about anything. He felt isolated. Within a week of his fiance breaking up with him (again ....), his mother passed. It's been rumored that he tried to get back in contact with her, but she refused. Needless to say, he poured all of his soul into his music. All of his pain, his turmoil, his questioned insanity - into his music. You can almost hear the pain.
Which leads me to believe that he chose to 'sing' on this album as it would be too hard to force rhymes to convey how you felt. Just 'singing' lets it all come out in its own way. Not all people can rap or rhyme how they feel and have everyone understand, but every single person has the capability to sing what they're feeling.
And that's why I like it.
Maybe it's 'bad' that I can connect to an album that has grief-twinged lyrics, or with a person who's forced to come across as completely unfeeling.
Even glancing at photos of him lately shows that he's in pain.
He looks like a robot.
And my head keeps spinning, can't stop having these visions ...
It's almost like a vocalized journal from Kanye.
Not to mention my boyfriend is on the album. :)
YAR
Seven weird things about me, as (somewhat) challenged by Constance.
I'm blogging these since they have an explanation.
1. I am unbelievably clumsy. No matter what it could possibly be, I will end up tripping over SOMETHING and hurting myself. Yesterday, I fell when Dexter & I were at the drive through at McDonalds, he turned the corner and I slammed down onto the floor of the car. :(
2. I do not need people's approval, yet I seek it quite often.
3. I can not stand a clean room. It bothers me sooooooo badly. I have seriously rearranged my room but have not cleaned it up. Clean rooms represent ... anal retentiveness to me, and I definitely am not a fan of hyper-organization.
4. If I haven't brushed my teeth, I don't smile correctly. I'll never know why. Seriously, if you think my smile looks odd in a photo, it's very likely that I didn't brush my teeth that day.
5. I read GQ for the articles // I watch the Pick Up Artist and I always squee when the guys do well.
6. Me being sleepy is the equivalent of me being really .... reeeaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy drunk.
7. I never eat all of my food. Ever. I always give a piece away, or I throw some away. I have half a bag of popcorn, an extra cookie, pieces of croissant, and a whole bowl of cheerios sitting in here.
Apparently, one of Dana's favorite CDs is Sam's Town.
And he said my hair was awesome.
:)
On Tuesday, I'm heading to [shudders] that place to get my ear gauging shit.
And I'm going to gauge my goddamn ears. I think I'm going to start with a '16, and progress to about a '10. Maybe.
Don't like it?
Good, that's what I was expecting
Think I'm hoping on a bandwagon?
You might just be right, but I'd rather be on this bandwagon than the one you're on.
Think I'm representing myself as a whiny emo brat?
Hello, Taqee. :)
- EDIT NEEDED:
Sage has a blog that is marvelous. Go read it.
:)
So, I finally saw Juno.
^_^
And now I'd really like a fucking pipe.
I'd always have it with me.
It'd be a signature piece, along with my white nails.
I have a lotttttttttttttt to speak on, but I don't even know where to begin.
I'll pick one topic ... thinkkkkkkkkkkkk.
Hm, I'm noticing that I'm keeping way too much in.
It's beginning to cause my physical pain.
Only one person really knows what I "go through", and that's only because I trust him enough to pour everything into him, and I'm even hesitant to tell him everything.
It's apparently making people feel distanced from me, and I'm realizing that I'm intentionally distancing people from me.
I just feel like people would be better off if they knew less about me.
Which brings in my father ...
He keeps jumping in and out of my fucking brain.
I keep wishing that I could wake up late, around 7:40 and him calling me, complaining about how he had been sitting in the driveway for 20 minutes, and how I knew that was a lie, and we'd argue about it, but I'd still get to school roughly on time anyway.
And I keep wishing that I'd have a ride home from school, even if that ride came at 7:00 pm.
And even if sometimes that ride didn't tell me that he wasn't coming until it was too late, and I'd cry the entire way home.
I would rather have that again than have this nothingness.
I would rather have that tricked sense of security than to know that I have none.
Truly, I wish it were a year ago.
I would lie and say that I'd give up everything I have now if I could just ... have that one wish come true, but dammit, that'd be a lie.
Blah.
For those out of the "know" (which is practically everyone):
On Tuesday, I will be examined by a psychiatrist who will then prescribe me medication for a chemical imbalance. Apparently, I have lost my ability to function because of this imbalance! Hoo-fuckin-rah.
I have finally decided what I'm gonna do with my life.
I'm gonna be an 'it' girl.
Because believe it or not, that would be the best thing I could do for my life.
I can't sit in a cubicle all god-damn day.
I can't even fathom serving someone for all of my days only to await my retirement.
Hellllllllllllllllll no.
I'd kill myself before I let that happen.
Besides, I've got too much personality (good and bad) to sit around and become a forgotten idea.
I'm way too social to NOT take advantage of my 'gift' and talk to everyone.
And shit, why not get paid at the same time?!
I could start off as an underground artist (as in art, not music) and work my way up.
Or start as a video friend. (keyword: friend. I mean that I become friends with the artist and then everyone wants me in theirs. Sorta like what Agyness Deyn did to modeling. Sortaaaa.)
So, I'm hanging out with any AND every-one.
I don't care.
:)
So, hello readers.
My name's Khloe and I want to be your friend.
The blog has been updated.
