i'm feeling yummy head to toe.

I am boring the everloving fuckery out of myself.
Maybe it's that dying 'I need to get back into school' thing.
I need that pinnacle of socialization.
I neeeeeeeeeeeed itttttttttttttttt.
It's beginning to affect my relationships, me thinks.
If I don't do something exciting, I might blow myself away.
It's not ... 'Khloe' to be ... traditional or to have a pattern.




Sometimes, I think I might seriously be bisexual ... except I don't want to be with girls, just fuck `em. No homo. And I don't want to do anything TO them. Maybe I'm just greedy? Ignore this. I'm a tad tipsy.

I miss the fuckerytownshit out of Rodney.
Can't even explain why.
Besides the fact that he was a great person, with a ... different sense of humor.
And now that we're both in relationships, there's none of that sexual tension thing!
Me thinks we could actually be awesome friends now ... but my pride refuses to let me go out of my way to try and rekindle the relationship. If you're reading this: FUCK YOU FAG. ADD ME OR SOMETHING.
& Of course, I miss Breon. He moved to London. He's about to do something great with his life. He's the ONLY reason I even fucked up my life/high school career and went to Renaissance ... I thought that I could follow in his footsteps. Slowly realizing that I can't .... never could. Fuck, that sucks.
I even miss my dad. :(
Another case of pride.
It's way too difficult for me to put the entire 'incident' aside and just pretend nothing happened and continue along with him pretending to be my dad again ...
But he's trying to be a parent now more than ever before.
& I can't really blame him for being a shitty parent. HIS parents were shitty, and I'm pretty sure HIS PARENT'S PARENTS were shitty ... it's a cycle of shittiness that I feel obligated to break ... if not, then there's yet another cycle that I chose to facilitate.
He sent me a picture of the puppy he got today. He has a Neopolitan Mastiff. I try to pretend that I'm completely unfeeling towards anything he does, but it's a facade. It's difficult not to love someone who you've been taught to love and admire your entire life.



And now I make my exit ...

sweet sour you.

I love all of these people.
They are absolutely beautiful in their own way.

converse & ♥ Δ spark is coming.

veela.

I am happy again.
^_^
ALL IS WELL!

BLAH.

I wish there was some way that I could pour my brain into a jar.
And that my body could function without it.
Maybe my body would have a chance for normality if it was given the opportunity to have free thought.
Body, walk away and never come back.
Don't even look back.

There is so much to be done that I'm beyond capable of handling.
Kanye West has said that publicizing your 'goals' somewhat glues you to accomplishing them.
Whomp.

I want to do 3 things.

• Direct a video to Kate Nash' 'Nicest Thing'. Haven't heard it? Click here.
  
• Release two collections of photos. The first is called 'Vitruvian Girl', which will be a set of 10 well done artistic nudes. Yes, NUDES. The human form is absolutely breathtaking, and I want to showcase that without people seeing the photos and thinking 'Damn, look at them tittays' or 'I GOTTA JACK OFF 2 DIS RIGHT NAO'. So, there's a challenge. I also want to get back into photoshopping. (haven't produced anything from PS that I'm proud of in quite a while) That's where the second collection of photos comes in. It'll be called ... I'll get back to you on that. But, it's another set of 10 photos that is nothing but 'clone' work. This is a perfect example of cloning, and a possible inspiration. So, there's that!
  
• My third thing is to fix my bike, lmao.
  

yr mangled heart.

• My full name is Khloe 'Somethin`' Daniels. FB name: Khloe Mariella-Jane Deyn ; The Mariella-Jane came from 'Mariella' by Kate Nash & the 'Jane' came from Sincerely Jane by Janelle Monae. The 'Deyn' comes from my favorite model, Agyness Deyn. My actual middle name is ghetto as SHIT. I'm sorta embarrassed of it ...
• I'm a vegetarian. Why? I think it's just an eensy bit barbaric that we eat things that neither benefits our bodies, nor is essential. I'm almost 100% sure if people researched what they ate, they would change their eating habits. For example: did you know that milk is roughly 60% pus? (Yes PUS, as in when you squeeze a pimple and white shit comes out PUS.) Did you know that eggs are nothing but the unfertilized children (AKA: THE PERIODS) of chickens? I'm not knocking meat eaters, just watch what you ingest, ya dig?
  
• I fucking love cookies. Even if you only know me a LITTLE bit, you should know this. Cookies are absolutely delicious. They are one of the ONLY things I eat. God, cookies are amazing. Waffles + pineapples = ALSO amazing!
• I never want to get married, because I know that I can't promise to love someone for the rest of my life. I don't want to fuck someone's life up when I wake up one day, decide that I don't love them anymore and leave.
  
• I don't really have a father. No, he isn't dead.
  
• In case you're curious about my religious views, I am a spiritualist, I suppose. I believe that there IS a higher being, but in one sense, I believe that this higher being is the universe and all which it contains. Why? Because, the universe responds to everything that is put into it, the same way that a God does / would. Also, when you think of Gods as single entities, that also brings up issues of race/gender/classification, which really isn't the point. The point of spiritualism / religion is to find SOMETHING to help guide you through your life, and to help keep you rooted in all things positive.
• I have a beautiful mind.
  

all nite diner.

Things will change for me ... and that's okay.

turtle island.

17 things I want to accomplish in life

1.) At least get accepted into an art-based college. Little known fact: I can draw. Not as well as Chmy, but then again, there aren't many who can.

2.) Attend a Sundance Film Festival.

3.) Visit / move to New Zealand.

4.) Become a motivational speaker. Not motivational as in 'Follow my steps, and your life will change for the great!', but motivational as in progressive. I want to motivate people to reTHINK their lives. Rethink everything that defines them.

5.) Attend an 'alternative' artists concert. I've only been to R&B artist's concert, because someone always paid my way. I want to see Gossip play live, or Regina Spektor. I also need someone to attend the Warped Tour and boo the fuck out of Gym Class Heroes if/when they perform 'Cookie Jar'.

6.) Stage dive & mosh. I'm sure this requires me to be musically inclined of sorts in order to get ON the stage, but fuck that. I'm manipulative. And moshing, as dangerous as it is, seems like a necessity.

7.) Try a drug. A serious one. Weed doesn't count. I'd like to try something like Xanax, or LSD. Even if it's just once!

8.) Finish this rebirth of mine. It started a while ago, but I'm just in the midst of it's 'midday'. Lately, I've just been weeding out my music library. Taking out shit that I never listened to (YES YOU: T-PAIN, USHER, AND LIL KIM's CD! There's nothing wrong with them, but they remind me of when I was trying to be 'in' to the whole rap scene. Which I'm not, lmao. Juvenile's album stays, though.) and adding music that I know I'll listen to. (including Santogold, The Pipettes, M83, Justice, and Adele).


9.) Learn HTML well enough to do a decent layout for ANYTHING! And Photoshop, of course.
I heard about some program that automatically converted PS files into HTML, but I never looked back up on that.

10.) Star in something. I'm not trying to be an actress, but entirely too many people tell me I should be one for me to avoid the chance. So, even if it's just a local commercial (lmfao, remember Ben & Jessica's Dickies commercial?) I'd like to be in it.

11.) Figure out what the fuck I want to do with my life. Every day is a different 'struggle' for me. Do I want to be a tattoo artist? A McDonalds employee? Animal trainer? Motivational Speaker? Photographer? Radio Personality? TV Personality? Broadcast Journalist? Rockstar? Cosmetologist? I don't have the grades to do much, but I have the ambition and personality (not to mention the manipulative skills) to pretty much do whatever I want.

12.) Meet Prince. `Nuff sad.

13.) Speak to a psychologist and undermine their entire profession. Maybe it's mean, but I don't believe that speaking to someone who's entire job is to make light of your problems works. And don't think I haven't tried. When I was in Catholic school, I was forced to go into therapy. I didn't speak to her. Nothing got accomplished. Bad example, but hey. I just find it irrational that we think of it as 'treatment' to pay someone to listen. There are tons of people who'll listen for free. Only difference is a little plaque / degree on the wall.

14.) Visit a children's hospital. I've heard it's a humbling experience to visit there. It makes you realize that while you may complain that you have fat legs, there are kids / people who would kill to have legs, period.

15.) Become a nicer person! I've always made it clear that I'm not a MEAN person, because I'm not. But, I'm not a sweetheart. I'm actually nicer to people who I don't know than the people closest to me. I guess I'm trying to make a better impression on those who don't know me ... ?
Idk or care. I'd just like to stop being labeled as the 'bitch'. I'm dominant, and I say what I'm thinking. I don't feel like that justifies 'bitch'.

16.) Visit a secondhand store. Yet to do that!

17.) Meet someone who makes me rethink all of my principles.

warwick avenue.

[looks around]
damn.
there's dust and shit all over here.
It's just a lot easier to blog when you have something to talk about.
lately, I've just been happy.
In case you're not in the 'know', Dexter's my boyfriend now.
=]
Don't expect too much mushy shit from me, because that's not how I am.
And it scares me a bit to be attached to him.

Anyway, this blog is about my tat!
I have not asked anyone for anything for my birthday.
As 'homo' as it is, I really have everything I could want.
I have the greatest friends I could ask for.
Even though they may piss me off, and they have their flaws, they're perfect for ME.
I'm comfortable enough to drop trou in front of them, and to poop in their houses!
Seems stupid, but that's srs lubb.

So ... the only thing I asked my MOM for was my tattoo.
I've wanted it since I was 13, roughly. That's 4 years of wanting!
I want my birthdate in roman numerals via my wrist.
(VII XI MCMXCI)
I'm sure you're sitting there thinking ... 'This broad is dumb. That's a dumb tat.'
Now, I'm not going to try and change your opinion. Not my job.
But, the tattoo would mean something to me.
Obviously, it's my birthday. But, if you examine it from a semi-creationist perspective, you'd realize that without something as simple as a number, you technically would not exist.
If on that number (your 'birth' day), nothing happened ... the world kept spinning normally without your fruition coming in, you'd not be able to read this!
To me, the tattoo (somewhat) represents the fragility of life, and how simplistic things can at least partially represent you.
Additionally, if you're not into the whole meaning behind tats, my body is a canvas.
I am the artist.
I have the creativity and will to paint, color, massacre, beautify, or destroy my canvas as I please.

My mother disagrees.
She suggested I move it to another place, so that in the future, I won't be discriminated against for my tattoo's placement.
Whilst I agree that tattoos can hinder you from certain jobs, I'm not sure if I want to work in any place where they'll discriminate based on how I design my canvas. I'm definitely not suited for the 'corporate' world regardless.

So, if I have to move it, I'm gonna be PISSED.
I don't even think I'll get my birth date anymore.
My mom suggested / commanded I move it to my hips.
If I get ANYTHING there, it won't be my birth date.

So, keep updated.

My birthday's in 4 days!
Yule.

[Me thinks it's time for a new layout]