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You should probably read Chanel's blog before you read mine, to get an idea of where I was coming from. (Link you say? NOPE. TOO DAMN LAZY.)
In life, people try to fit in.
It's a natural human want, to be accepted and acknowledged by a social group that they feel is deserving. You can not deny it, for it is a primal instinct.
No one wants to be disliked by the entire world.
No one wants to be alienated from the entire world.
To make this simple: humans are (very) social creatures, therefore depriving them of a necessity makes them suffer from lunacy.
Now to make my point:
I definitely get tired of seeing people everywhere trying to be 'nerds', 'geeks', 'dorks', 'different', 'weird', 'preps', 'punks', blah. I understand that in high school, it can be very difficult to find yourself but in the process, don't do shit that you don't enjoy.
[looks at Michael Boone]
If you have no real sense of style and you're just a tee and jeans kinda person, ACCEPT THAT!
If you throw on whatever's clean, SAY THAT! ACCEPT IT! EMBRACE IT!
Every single person is not 'different'.
This seems to be a foreign concept.
I'm not trying to be different.
I won't even say that I am.
People just consider it odd that I don't fucking like Ed Hardy (TRASH TRASH TRASH), love the Salvation Army, listen to music you've never heard of, make faces that don't make sense, see the world in colors that don't exist, and that my heart beats for a mothership that never come.
So, since 'different' is in, I'll be a fucking loser.
That's what I've always been.
I'm that kid you ostracize, not the kid you ask for shopping tips you fucking coons!
Just trying to be au naturale.
And that takes testing.
People grow up.
In my mind, things don't have to make sense.
But nowadays, it's cool for things not to make sense.
It's awesome if your clothes don't match, or if you wear two different shoes.
Bitch, I've been doing that since day one! Not because it was cool but because I'm poor and lazy!
I don't really know who this is directed towards anymore.
Lol.
In short, I guess I'm a fucking loser because I'm cultured.
I suppose that's what 'weird' really means.
Someone who has an affinity for something you don't really know anything about.
BLAH!
:)
& I updated the links on the side of my page, and I think you should look at ALL of them ... and if you have Firefox, add StumbleUpon. I've been stumbling (upon, ha) blogs all day and reading them .... don't tell anybody.
* If you're looking for an explanation as to 'yo | snowstorm', well, yo was because I put yo in my header and snowstorm = you've got me.
You should download She & Him's Volume One. My love Zooey's on vocals.
is love, yes.
"you`re the only one i see sometimes."
days like this make me smile on the inside.
days like this make me realize that while detroit may be a hood ass city, i am not a hood ass person. i am not hood. i am not detroit.
mmm.
my last draft was super fucking long.
then firefox crashed.
some BULLSHIT.
anyway, i'm staying up to see keeler off.
because that's my best bud, y'know?
he's seen me through some shit, i've seen him through some shit.
i want three more tattoos at this very moment.
'plain jane' in my handwriting on my ankle.
the 'brain' idea.
and a planet with a single ring on my hand (in the little piece of tissue between my thumb & index)
me has decided against humoring people's ideas anymore.
if i don't give a fuck, i'm just not gonna respond.
or, if i think what you said what absolutely ludicrous, no response.
dexter met new people tonight.
hip hop hooray! [no sarcasm intended]
y'know, i'm so sarcastic i can't even tell when i'm being sarcastic anymore.
lmao.
but yeah, i can't wait until school starts up, and then when i move away.
me loves my circle of close friends, but me misses that broader amount of friends who you know won't rly be there for you, but get you through the school day with their humor.
y'know?
i took photos of julian marley performing today.
although i'm not really a fan of his (at least not prior to today), it was cool being in VIP seats for a performer who's father is world renowned and flat out amazing.
all i have is too many questions, is there something;someone you forgot to mention?
italicized shit are song lyrics.
mm, nonsensicalness!
if you want to see the photos, you'll just have to wait.
the whole purpose of being downtown was to take the photos for troy, though.
i don't even thinks he understands how much pressure i'm under right now.
if anything goes wrong/not the way i planned it, my blood sugar feels like it's dropping and i get panicky.
sure, he's a normal person, but he's talented and apparently cool as shit.
THAT'S PRESSURE
[breathes]
me misses him.
it's just getting easier for me to stop thinking about him so much.
after a while, you just have to accept that something isn't as close as you want it to be anymore, and it won't be that way for a while.
:( so why can't i accept that of keeler?
i'm scared that he's going to go off and make all these new rich ass friends and never speak to my poor ass again. :(
or that he'll forget me.
he's gonna be in fucking connecticut.
WHAT THE FUCK!??!!?!??!!pNTRIEWODNRTIOE
at this point, i think he's probably gone to sleep, or i'm not gonna talk to him until later today [sigh] whatever.
my imagination's running, trying to keep my body still
blahhhhhhh.
today, i thought about how 'absent-minded' i am.
sometimes, i think about so much at once that it completely engulfs my entire thought process and i completely forget where i am.
today, my mom tapped me when we were in the car, and i realized that for the last four minutes, i had been purely in my mind.
that sounds dangerous as fuck.
what happens if i'm driving and i 'zone out'?
or if i'm cooking and that happens? (it has happened before. i started warming up my mac and cheese, and i went outside to play with my dog. came back in, half the house was on fire.)
i'm getting yet another headache.
ahaha, today at fishbone's, conz, keeler, and i had a competition to see who could color their fish the best and tell the best story. i completely revamped my fish and turned him into 'CONFUTIUSfish'. he had a beard and a mustache, and had wingsssss!
constance won though. :( I WAS CHEATED!
my dumbass can't find my camera cord.
you know what else i realized?
tommie green is a miserable soul.
he could make it so much further if he was humble.
or less arrogant.
or not a dick.
and the sad thing is, he justifies his actions by saying he's 'honest'.
sad thing is, i used to admire him.
andrew goddeeris, too.
maybe because i was so similar to them?
mrew!
apparently, there's a donnie darko sequel.
oh yes/oh noes.
i find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, that the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had ...
togepi is the most adorable and worthless ass pokemon!
YES.
i'm done.
fuckit, bukkit.
These surveys are just 'holders' until I feel like divulging details.
RULES: 1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds! 4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name. how would you describe yourself?
"scandalous scholastics ; gym class heroes"
(legendary, baby?)
what do you like in a guy/girl?
"sweet valium high ; charlotte sometimes"
(oh yes, I love a man to cheat on me and then drug me to assuage the pain!)
how do you feel today?
"hi-definition ; lupe fiasco featuring snoop dogg & pooh bear"
(since I look like shit right now, I suppose my flaws ARE in hi-definition.)
what is your life’s purpose?
"weird science ; does it offend you, yeah?"
(I'M GAWNA BE A SCIENTIST?!?!?!? OH NO MA'AM.)
what is your motto?
"feelings show ; colbie caillat"
(oddly enough, that is my motto. the real will always be real and the false will always show their facetious side eventually)
what do your friends think of you?
"keeping you alive ; gossip"
(i don't know whether to say thank you or fuck you.)
what do you think of your parents? "bitch ; sa-ra"
(ahhahahahahaaha)
what do you think about very often?
"pleasure ryland ; cobra starship"
(do not! not that much ... a lot .... all day, everyday ... mmmmmmm)
what is 2 + 2?
"sunshine ; mos def"
(true, i'm terrible with math, but wonderful at being a hippy!)
what do you think of your best friend?
"the way you move ; outkast featuring sleepy brown"
(no coco.)
i got fucking tired of that and i came up with a blog idea right here!
why do so many people act like the pinnacle(s) of womanhood are virginity loss, giant wedding, marriage, kids, elderhood, death?!
i've never understood why so many girls wanted to get married in the traditional sense.
or how they could do it.
how can you possibly swear that you'll love someone else for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?
honestly, that seems a little ... naive. especially since 52% of marriages end in divorce.
so really, you're just lying to yourself and changing 'i'll love you until i can love you no more' to 'i'll love you forever'. say what you mean, people! otherwise, you immediately are entering this marriage with a LIE. maybe that's why so many of them end. it's built upon a lie, not upon truth.
i'm never getting married, for that reason.
the person who loves me enough to want to marry me should understand that.
i have no problem with us doing all the things a married couple does, as long as we have a mental union.
what's the difference between that and an actual married couple?
nothing but a ring. and i don't need a ring to profess to the world that i'm madly in love with someone.
and about virginity ... why is it slated that the greatest thing a girl can give a man is her virginity?! what the fuck? are you kidding me? out of all of the things a woman has (her intelligence, her charms, her wisdom, her courage) the greatest thing you can ever pass on is a thin piece of tissue that covers the inside of your vagina? for serious? that's a bit degrading!
& children ... aren't for everyone. i get tired of people telling me that they can't wait until i have kids. what the fuck is so hard to understand that i'm NOT!? i don't like children, i'm not responsible, i'm indecisive, and i don't eat what babies eat. i am not prepared to change my entire lifestyle around for some little person. nope. guess i'm selfish!
also, how can people support teenage mothers?
so many 14-18 year old girls get pregnant, and their entire group of friends backs them up like it was the greatest thing that ever happened. :|
a true friend does not have to support everything their friend does.
a true friend is honest.
and honestly, if one of my friends got pregnant, i wouldn't be supportive.
they haven't graduated from college yet, and have an entire future to worry about.
i've heard many success stories, but working towards your goals = a lot harder when you have a child whining in your ear. especially if you're a freshman in college and you have to pay for tuition AND a baby.
whomp, not supporting it.
hm.
i have trust issues.
not necessarily issues with trusting people, just issues with being pessimistic, i suppose.
but i talked about them, and now i feel better.
^_^
ily, 3-D!
Dino has inspired me to write again.
I won't make the majority of it public, though.
Before anything with my name on it hits the internets, I need to write for myself again.
Daydreamer by Adele
Daydreamer, sitting on the scene, soaking up the sun
He is a real lover, making up the past and feeling up his girl like he's never felt her figure before
A jaw dropper, looks good when he walks, is the subject of their talk
He would be hard to chase, but good to catch and he could change the world with his hands behind his back
You can find him sitting on your doorstep, waiting for a surprise
And you will feel like he's been there for hours ... and you can tell that he'll be there for life
Daydreamer: with eyes that make you melt
He lends his coat for shelter plus he's there for you when he shouldn't be
But he stays all the same, waits for you then he sees you through
There's no way I could describe him
What I'll say is "just what I'm hoping for."
But I will find him sitting on my doorstep
Waiting for a surprise
And he will feel like he's been there for hours, and I can tell he'll be there for life
...and I can tell that he'll be there for life.
What's your favorite color?
green. betcha didn't know that!
Would you ever donate blood?
most definitely. just for the cookies afterwards.
What are you thinking about right now?
i could make a great actress. great, i tell you!
Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
aero.
Ever kissed someone who smokes?
yep.
Is someone on your mind right now?
not rly. i was thinking about kitty kats.
Have you ever been in a hotel room with a friend of the opposite sex?
yep! shared a bed with him, too.
Who has your heart?
dexter, travis, sam, nick, joe, john, jason, wasalu, kate, adele, charlotte ...
What are you listening to?
hey love, hey love.
Who were you with last night?
my luvah.
Do you believe in love?
huzzah!
If you were to die today would your life be complete?
not by a long shot.
When was the last time you were so drunk you threw up?
never. that shit's unattractive.
What do you regret in 2008 so far?
dating him.
Do you curse a lot?
fuck no! what the fuckshit type of bitch do you think i am?! ho.
Who was the last person to lay on top of you?
dex.
Where's the person you have feelings for right now?
either at home or headed to le oak of royalty.
Have you ever drank with your number three?
my number three ... what?
Ever got caught?
not happening. nevah.
Did your parents find out?
i'm so confused.
Can you use chopsticks?
can, yes. prefer, no.
When was the last time you got flowers?
never. i actually don't think i'd like getting flowers very much.
When was the last time you cried and why?
yesterday evening. it wasn't sad crying, but my eyes started watering up.
Last time you washed your hair?
a week and a half ago.
Last encounter with the police?
shrug.
Where will you be sleeping tonight?
on my couch.
Can you ice skate?
i used to be able to skate really well.
and now i fail at it.
Are you a Gatorade drinker?
vitamin water.
You see a shooting star, do you make a wish?
sure.
When was the last time you ran?
yesterday? the day before that? iono.
Do you have a brother?
stepbrother.
Do you say sexy a lot?
lmao, maybe.
Do you know how to change a diaper?
yes. take it off, throw it in the opposite direction of the way you're running.
Have you ever peed in the woods?
nope!
Where?
hm?
Last person you talked to on the phone for over an hour?
dex?
How long have you known the person you last kissed?
4 months ... ?
Next vacation you're going on?
paris!
Do you have any piercings?
have, some. want, more.
Do you have any tattoos?
have, one. want, more.
What is in the back seat of your car right now?
no carro.
This blog is about to be mighty personal.
[insert deep sigh here]
I have changed for the better and I am unspeakably proud of myself.
9th grade Khloe and I are two totally different people.
10th grade Khloe and I still keep in contact, but we don't visit too often.
11th grade Khloe is family to me, and I can't ever let her go, but we aren't the same.
8th and 9th grade ... that wasn't who I was at all.
I relied upon making others laugh/undermining people to make friends, and unsurprisingly it worked. But, the friends I made weren't really people I expected to stay around. I'm quite used to being used and then being alone. That's how it's been my life. No one likes being bothered with me, so I'm quite used to sitting at home all alone reading a book or doing something else to distract myself from daydrifting into abstract thoughts that lead me into having a headache. Hm. Backstory time, I guess. 7th grade, I was beyond fucked up. I got into a lot of shit I had no business dealing with. I had a little taste of the real world (I had gone to private, catholic schools exclusively prior to 7th grade) and I thought I was ready for a full glass. & You know, it's lonely at the bottom and at the top. At first, no one liked me because I was a 'teacher`s pet' due to the fact that I ENJOYED doing work. And since I was new to a school, I obviously wanted them to like me. So I conformed. Insert drugs. Insert oversexualization. Insert slang. Insert general sheltered life. Cleverly disguised as normal to them, but fighting myself on the inside to be 'me'. Blah, skip a few months. I think I'm a badass. The shit, in a matter of words. I'd fight you no matter who the fuck you were. Argumentative. Dangerous. Destructive. All I remember is being angry, then going home and having to cry myself to sleep. Wake up and do it all over again. It only got worse when I was molested. (yep, said it. i've come to terms with it) It doesn't help if you're in a dank place and something that .... hurtful ... happens. The worse part was that it happened in the CLASSROOM and that it was the roomfull of guys who did it, not helped.
That was the breaking point.
Snap goes I.
I started skipping school, or just not coming.
As "fat" as it sounds, I realized I didn't have anyone to depend on. My dependancy upon people shifted towards a dependancy upon food. I had to eat three or four snickers a day to be satiated. If I was deprived, I just didn't feel whole, and would often beg people for money in order to get one. As logic dictates, three or four 400 calorie chocolate bars a day = BAD.
I went from 117 to 140.
Started stabbing people in the neck with colored pencils (lol true story).
Unfortunately, due to my 'badass' mentality and broken spirit, I missed roughly ... 32 days of school. Not enough to be promoted to the next grade. FAIL. Literally.
People who met me in 8th grade got this roughed up ass piece of coal.
Once a diamond, but somehow relegated due to societal decree.
They didn't meet me.
I still had that nasty accent from 7th grade that hid my actual intelligence with words such as 'dey'. They couldn't hear me too well, clearly.
9th grade Khloe was struggling to battle all the negative self-images she'd had from 7th and 8th grade and trying to change for high school. Finding it impossible, she turned to the only route that was available ... a nice sweet goodbye. (why the fuck did I just start narrating this shit? fuck it.) She made sure that no one would miss her. She wore sweatshirts everyday to blend in with the rest of the 'lames'. No one would miss them, so logically no one would miss her. Or maybe no one would see her. Along the way, she developed a moniker ... 'Khloe With a K'. Is that what the tombstone would read? Would that moniker help anyone realize why she was gone? It didn't matter. Along the course of the school year, Khloe's pain increased immensely. Being surrounded by pretty whilst being forced to accept that you're odd broods poorly. Khloe's attempts at goodbye failed, and she was stuck with using household items to lessen the hurt. Cuts diverted attention from the now ... nyquil diverted attention from the later. Living for tonight, trying to die in the morning. Making people giggle so no one would notice that there was a 'real' problem lying underneath the ball of laughs.
.... to be continued, since this is irrationally long.
requirements for anyone seriously trying to date me:
- Must be Dexter Dale Dixon.
:D
dxedprss (3:15:10 AM): ...still needs ipod touch case/ dxedprss (3:15:19 AM): [tru] papierplane (3:15:52 AM): ... still needs poontang ... at night ... dxedprss (3:16:07 AM): i needs that too papierplane (3:16:25 AM): 
my poontang's not good enough? dxedprss (3:17:09 AM): i was talking about urs dxedprss (3:17:10 AM): idiot it's weird as shit how this all came to fruition.
i still have the text saved from you that reads "are too, just when I thought I liked you."
12:29 am ; tuesday may 27.
&
"the first time i came over ... i was really 'taken' by how good you looked in those shorts haha, seriously tho ur legs are hot"
"that i met a girl named khloe and we've been talking and she's really cool and into alotta the same stuff as me, and that she's younger than me but whatever I like her and that we hung out at the art festival today ... that's it"
"I dreamt me n u were at your dads house and I had to hide in the closet when he got n he found me hiding but didn't get mad and he really liked me n all of us ate breakfast together n talked about music"
"you smile because u think that's sweet, but you like to act like u have no heart, so I'm gonna say somethin else mushy .. tonight felt really passionate to me rather than lust, which is good for me"
I am about to think myself into a coma.
It's sad that it's come to this.
My poor, poor mind. I apologize in advance!
Or did I since I'm apologizing now and this is quite past advance?
Whatever.
Time to vent!
It seriously gets under my skin when people call me a 'bitch' or 'mean'. I can act like it doesn't bother me all day long, but it does. Yesterday, we played a game of 'Label Me', and of course, we had our people who were labeled God (lol to self) and then we came to me. Most people shouted out 'quirky', which I like! Hell, I'd even love 'psychotic', 'violent', 'angry little person'. All of those would work. But then, a certain brigade wanted to claim I was a 'diluted version of Taqee'. Considering they were trying to have an intervention about Taco being an asshole, and many people have ranted on and on about how rude/dickface'd Taco is, please imagine how this made me feel. Are you fucking kidding me? I'll never pretend I'm a sweetheart. I know this is getting redundant, but that just makes it absolutely more ridiculous.
I couldn't be 'Taco' if I tried my damndest. I couldn't think of witty ways to undermine people's integrity during a debate, or many ways to express 'I think you`re absolutely retarded.' I'm not even saying that I agree that he's 'changed' into a bigger asshole than before, I'm just saying that if you actually KNOW me, you know there's no way for me to even be close to him. Also, if you KNOW me and don't just like basing your opinions off of one-sidedness, you'd know that I'm not mean. I'll tell you the truth. I'm non-confrontational unless I feel like the confrontation will better me as a person. I ask questions and state my opinion because that's my personality, and because I was blessed with the 'intelligence' and 'mindset' to do so. In the words of Michelle: "It`s my personality, and it's your fault if you can't deal with it, not mine."
It's been on my mind for quite a while.
Ever since I realized that Dino said that I had 'changed since I started dating Dexter', I have been questioning myself a lot. Have I really? It's been racking my fucking BRAIN. I have replayed the 'confrontation' a million times. I've searched for clues. I've searched for answers. And all I keep coming up with is: 'I have absolutely no reason to think this besides the conclusion that I came up with this opinion and want to think so.' If I really have changed, I don't think it'd be that hard to cite an example ... or tell me HOW. Circular logic and saying 'You just have' gets us nowhere. And to the person who co-signed (not India, if she's / you're reading this and think so) :
HAHAHAHAHA.
TELL ME AGAIN: WHEN DID YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE AN ASSESSMENT? So many questions, so little time.
I still want to get the 'fate and faith' tattoo, but for a different reason.
Fate has put me into certain situations, and faith will help me prevail.
Things on my mind:
- I'm glad you're in my life but I don't know if I'll be able to make it without you being here with me. I love you so much that it's gonna be hard for me not to be able to call you anytime I want, and not to just pop up over your house when I need someone to talk to. It's gonna be too hard for me to handle, and I think I might lose it.
- Many people proclaim you as a God and I think you're believing it too. A God amongst sinners in the course of an apocalypse, I'd say. Searching for someone to depend on, latching on to the first thing that offers sanctuary. Even if that sanctuary will be the first to collapse and fall under the weight of another false idol.
- Let's go to sleep in Paris and wake up in Tokyo.
- I feel obliged to write something about you, which pretty much nullifies the point of being 'heartfelt'. So, I'm not. Just know that I'd even keep your picture in my pass-pert.
- I remember that two or three weeks when I wanted to fight you and beat the fuck out of you, and laugh to myself. Lol. Now, I couldn't imagine hitting you or hurting you to physically cause you pain. Ily! I'd say 'no coco', but guess what? I love you so much I don't care if it's homo, hetero, coco, loco, mocho, mocha, brown, lalaland, flojo, or homeless. I'm not a poet and I'm not great with words, so I just leave it at this.
- bear & bare.
I now remember why I'm glad I'm not close to my family.
They don't know me, and they'll never understand me.
And since I don't care about their opinions, I don't have to explain myself.
My aunt came over and was like: "Ooh, Khloe, did you just get up?!"
I had on my winter hat (or THEE hat, considering it's with me everywhere I go, and I feel uncomfortable if it's not on my head.) some plaid shorts and a purple tee. Ashy as hell, too. ^_^ NO, I DID NOT JUST GET UP. THIS IS ME. :)
& Then she asked me what the fuck I was listening to.
Twas Santogold.
You dig, yes?
I get frustrated easily.
My mastery of self-analysis and self-reflection leads me to have melt downs often.
People who don't speak their minds work on my nerves.
I could easily pass for a bisexual girl, or a lesbian. Easy.
Never would I wish death upon someone, but sometimes I wish my dad wasn't "here" so I'd have no choice but to move on.
When people mistake me for other races, it irritates me for whatever reason.
Beauty standards and perception of 'attraction', if introduced as a topic, could make me vent for hours.
Honestly, I believe that I have a beautiful voice. It's deeper and I sound like a man sometimes (usually when I first wake up), but I can easily project foreign accents. ^_^
If I say 'lol', I really laughed. If I say 'lmao', I laughed harder. If I say 'jrbhkredwkfrnhe', I can not breathe from laughing and need medical attention immegitly.
Being a nicer person is .... odd. When people are 'rude', I notice it now. & I wonder if that's exactly how I am / trying not to be?
Cookies, waffles, pineapples, snickers, and milk are some of the few things I eat.
I do not enjoy eating. If we could survive without ever eating, I never would. I just do not enjoy the feeling of eating.
If I can't find something I use regularly, I am prone to crying and will not go to sleep until I find it. (Ask India. I lost my favorite brush once, and I sat in the house crying about how I'd never see her again.)
Me thinks I was a philosopher in a past life. Or a terrorist.
I love makeup and cutting my hair (and changing my hairstyles) because I think it's great when people come up to me and say "I saw you a week or two ago and you look so different!" It puts a smile on my face. Speaking of which, I've been practicing a mohawk. & I plan on wearing wigs to school. Get hip. Not like me. Just hip.
I want another tattoo. One across my wrist (bonding tat) and I now want one done across the back of my neck, that reads "man on the moon". That song means so much to me. You just don't know.
I still want a brain half behind each of my ears, too.
& Now I am off to find my pencils to draw and to color.
I finally got my charger tips today, so I have regular access to the internets again! ^_^
The downside was that I restarted my Toppy improperly and in a janked fashion, so I lost all of my music. It's not really "lost" I suppose. My iTunes just completely blanked out, lol. So, I had to put all of the music that I have currently on my laptop (and that I was in the process of downloading) into my "new" library. Along the way, I took suggestions from people on what to download. Unsurprsingly, I loved most of it. Somehow, that loved list doesn't include Ashanti's CD, though ... lmao.
But, upon finding the majority of my music, I delved into a moment of self-reflection.
The majority of that music wasn't a representation of what I liked anymore.
It was mostly "9th grade music" that I downloaded in the hopes that I could go to a party and be "cool" or some of the music from when I was forcing myself to like Bow Wow / rap in general. Don't get me wrong, I like all kinds of music, but rap isn't .... "my" genre. Everyone has a genre that they enjoy the most, and that the majority of their favorite bands fall under. Mine isn't rap, bottom line!
So ... why did I force myself to like music that I wasn't into? I don't know anymore.
I'll just say now: I'm proud of the person that I'm growing in to. Sure, I'm a little bit cockier and maybe a bit more bitchy, but guess WHAT: It's called a personality. I'd rather be taken seriously than walked over because people considered me meek. Perfect example: People may say Constance is a bitch, but she's SRS BZNZ. No one doubts her intelligence or her capabilities. Now .... Chloe Robinson ... lmfao. Totally different story. I really did just laugh at that parallel.
Kieona says I should model.
HA.
I'm 5'0 with giant boobs, no ass, thick thighs, amazing legs, and I'm most comfortable in chucks.
I don't match, I like a lot of hairstyles, and most of all: I'm not mixed!
All of those scream: "MODEL, JOO?! HA!"
:)
This is just a list of the movies I've seen this year (summer really) and the movies I need/want to see for my personal use.
Real blog comin` later.
- The Dark Knight
- Step Brothers
- Wall-E
- Hancock
- Wanted
- Get Smart
- Iron Man
- The "Incredible" Hulk
- Cloverfield
- Teeth
- Jumper
- Be Kind Rewind (I sorta saw some of it [cough])
- Charlie Bartlett
- Penelope
- The Other Boleyn Girl
- Horton Hears A Who!
- Smart People
- Forgetting Sarah Marshall
- Baby Mama
- The Promotion
- Pineapple Express (gonna see it today)
- Tropic Thunder
So, I haven't had the time to blog because my poor poor laptop charger was destroyed.:(Nothing's really been going on in my life of importance regardless.I WILL say this though: People always pine for things that they aren't allowed to access.It seems as though people enjoy fucking up good things when they have them, then wanting them when others have them. I laugh at thee! I am WITH someone, you fucking douche. Someone who YOU know! I'm a little disgusted to be honest. You asked about his fucking family, and you 'grew up with him' .... but then you ask me for a kiss at the end of the night? L-O-L you fucking FOOL. At first I was angry, because I thought you were just seeing if you could 'try' me. But ... after thinking about it, I don't care! You're the one who fucked up ANYthing we could've had, the one who then literally fucked someone who I was trying to get close to ... you ruined 2 months of my life. I have not even come close to thinking of you in 'that' way since the day I called it quits. To put this simply, you are sad. Good luck with your life, though! :)It felt nice to let that out. Whooooosh.Back to me elaborating on the last few ... weeks? Ha!Kieona spent the night over my house for roughly ... 5 years, lmao. & Surprisingly, there was not one time where I wanted her to srsly get the fuck out, or when I was just fed up with her. I'm proud, because that means I'm getting better at this being nice thing, and because that means we're close as shit. Along the course of her stay, we came up with a 'Battle Royale', lmao. Basically, it's a competition to see who can lose the most weight/tone up the most, along with getting a distinctive style. I don't know what my style is, and I don't really plan on picking one, lol. Just HAVING one. Y'know, so people who don't know me say: "WTF is she wearing that tutu for? Doesn't matter, she's rocking that shit!". You dig, yes?Hm. Dexter is absent from this post. Well, what can I say about him? He's awesome ... and understanding, and he listens to me when I'm rambling about absolutely nothing. It doesn't hurt that he's mantastically sexay. & I really don't feel like I need anyone else (in the relationship sense) in my life for quite a while. I could ramble on about how he's creative and how he inspires me to not only THINK outside the box, but to LIVE outside the box, but you don't want to hear all that! I'm already arguing with my mom so that I can come visit him a LOT. So, for those who know me: Expect much MORE. Those who don't: STOP FUCKING QUESTIONING MY SEXUAL PREFERENCE. I LIKE DICK, DAMMIT. THAT IS FUCKING ANNOYING. BITCHES, STOP WRITING IN MY HONESTY BOX ASKING IF I LIKE VAG. NO. I DO NOT. YOU WANNA EAT OUT MY MOTHAFUCKING ASS? IS THAT IT?!?!??! *as soon as my laptop charger gets here, I can make my layout. Schweeet. That's crazy? Nope, it's Shwayze. & Jonas Brothers.- as always, khlo.
