phantom.

It is beautiful to me how the unspoken has more impact on the human mind than what IS spoken.
A person could tell you that they love you, but if their actions tell quite the contrary, then you wouldn't believe them, would you?
Eh, just a thought.

Hm. I have tons of fucking homework to do.
It's just really hard to even get into the 'mood' to want to do them.
Everytime I get into the mindset to sit down and try to better my future, I realize that I'm probably ... much too late.
I've dug myself a hole so deep that it'll take more than my own efforts to get out.
I need a shovel and a helping hand, too. Take that metaphor as you will.
Blah!

I'm realizing the reason I haven't blogged lately is because I have too much to say.

Time to summarize, fuckahs~!

• I started talking to a therapist last week (or so) and I really feel like she can help me, unlike those fuckers in the past. Yes, I'm calling you a fucker!
• Grades are due oh so very soon.
• I'm a blonde redheaded brunette now.
• In dying my hair, I realized I truly DON'T give a fuck what other have to say when it comes to my appearance. In showing Dexter my hair, I wanted his feedback but if he said it was ugly, I would have laughed it off and not gave a damn.
• Someone who I thought left MY life believes that I abandoned them and doesn't want to be friends with me anymore ... that shit stings. It truly does.
  
• On Friday, I went and saw a shitty movie called Saw 5 with my love and Ryan. Ryan is fucking heeeeeee-larious and I want him my life! As a regular, no homo.
• I hate inside jokes in large groups of people. I'm an avid abuser of the inside joke, but if there's a group of 15+ people and only 3 people know the joke, WHY THE FUCK YOU HOES MENTIONING IT, THEN SAYING 'INSIDE JOKE, LULZ!'?!?! Not to mention, why do people put 'inside joke' in their FB status? How many fuckers know what you're talking about, goddammit?!?!?
• My boyfriend is about to conquer the world. That's all I'll say on that.
• This English homework still hasn't been started ... Jeebus be damned.
• I truly wish you would just come out of the closet. It's starting to (frankly) piss me off that you're living a lie when EVERYONE knows the truth. It'd be different if only a few people had seen the light - no. You're the one in the dark, and you have absolutely no reason to be. No one would treat you differently and you have a fucking strong support system. Instead, you should to continually alienate yourself and continue to lie to yourself. Please, darling, get over yourselffffff.
  

Jeebus be damned!
I really enjoy change.
And the outdoors.
[sigh]

I don't know where to end this .... or if it even truly began ...

"The true genius shudders at incompleteness - and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be." - Edgar Allen Poe.

- Edit:
I truly wish I could forget what you've told me, amongst other things.
Alas, I can not. It invades my mind at the worst times and makes me question and analyze every action.
Your words are the song I've heard not but once and seemingly forget, only to have the tune run across my lips and the lyrics racking my brain.
I'll never forget what you told me, despite how much I try. :(