I went to bed to calm my head, yet only woke up to be angry instead.
Mental breakdowns have become frequent in this household. I just lay on the floor and wrap the blankets around my head, then scream as if no one is there; it is an actual rarity for someone to ever be there.
And last night, words reverberated against my skull.
"I`ll always be there for you. No matter what."
So many people have said that to me, and I'm sure most thought they meant it.
But relationships change with the weather, and no one who had opened their arms and ears for me could be found. I called not a soul to hear my weakness. Instead, I wished for one thing ... For one single person who had promised me that they would also care for me, and always 'check' on me, would call me instead. For one moment, a single person would care more about the promise they made to me than to their own lives. It's asking for a lot, I know. But in that moment, that's all I needed. A single call, a single TEXT even, with someone worried about me (I've heard that distress can be felt amongst those closest to you).
Not a single person called.
Mental breakdowns have become frequent in this household. I just lay on the floor and wrap the blankets around my head, then scream as if no one is there; it is an actual rarity for someone to ever be there.
And last night, words reverberated against my skull.
"I`ll always be there for you. No matter what."
So many people have said that to me, and I'm sure most thought they meant it.
But relationships change with the weather, and no one who had opened their arms and ears for me could be found. I called not a soul to hear my weakness. Instead, I wished for one thing ... For one single person who had promised me that they would also care for me, and always 'check' on me, would call me instead. For one moment, a single person would care more about the promise they made to me than to their own lives. It's asking for a lot, I know. But in that moment, that's all I needed. A single call, a single TEXT even, with someone worried about me (I've heard that distress can be felt amongst those closest to you).
Not a single person called.
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