It's sad that it's come to this.
My poor, poor mind. I apologize in advance!
Or did I since I'm apologizing now and this is quite past advance?
Whatever.
Time to vent!
It seriously gets under my skin when people call me a 'bitch' or 'mean'. I can act like it doesn't bother me all day long, but it does. Yesterday, we played a game of 'Label Me', and of course, we had our people who were labeled God (lol to self) and then we came to me. Most people shouted out 'quirky', which I like! Hell, I'd even love 'psychotic', 'violent', 'angry little person'. All of those would work. But then, a certain brigade wanted to claim I was a 'diluted version of Taqee'. Considering they were trying to have an intervention about Taco being an asshole, and many people have ranted on and on about how rude/dickface'd Taco is, please imagine how this made me feel. Are you fucking kidding me? I'll never pretend I'm a sweetheart. I know this is getting redundant, but that just makes it absolutely more ridiculous.
I couldn't be 'Taco' if I tried my damndest. I couldn't think of witty ways to undermine people's integrity during a debate, or many ways to express 'I think you`re absolutely retarded.' I'm not even saying that I agree that he's 'changed' into a bigger asshole than before, I'm just saying that if you actually KNOW me, you know there's no way for me to even be close to him. Also, if you KNOW me and don't just like basing your opinions off of one-sidedness, you'd know that I'm not mean. I'll tell you the truth. I'm non-confrontational unless I feel like the confrontation will better me as a person. I ask questions and state my opinion because that's my personality, and because I was blessed with the 'intelligence' and 'mindset' to do so. In the words of Michelle: "It`s my personality, and it's your fault if you can't deal with it, not mine."
It's been on my mind for quite a while.
Ever since I realized that Dino said that I had 'changed since I started dating Dexter', I have been questioning myself a lot. Have I really? It's been racking my fucking BRAIN. I have replayed the 'confrontation' a million times. I've searched for clues. I've searched for answers. And all I keep coming up with is: 'I have absolutely no reason to think this besides the conclusion that I came up with this opinion and want to think so.' If I really have changed, I don't think it'd be that hard to cite an example ... or tell me HOW. Circular logic and saying 'You just have' gets us nowhere. And to the person who co-signed (not India, if she's / you're reading this and think so) :
HAHAHAHAHA.
TELL ME AGAIN: WHEN DID YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE AN ASSESSMENT?
TELL ME AGAIN: WHEN DID YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE AN ASSESSMENT?
So many questions, so little time.
I still want to get the 'fate and faith' tattoo, but for a different reason.
Fate has put me into certain situations, and faith will help me prevail.
Things on my mind:
- I'm glad you're in my life but I don't know if I'll be able to make it without you being here with me. I love you so much that it's gonna be hard for me not to be able to call you anytime I want, and not to just pop up over your house when I need someone to talk to. It's gonna be too hard for me to handle, and I think I might lose it.
- Many people proclaim you as a God and I think you're believing it too. A God amongst sinners in the course of an apocalypse, I'd say. Searching for someone to depend on, latching on to the first thing that offers sanctuary. Even if that sanctuary will be the first to collapse and fall under the weight of another false idol.
- Let's go to sleep in Paris and wake up in Tokyo.
- I feel obliged to write something about you, which pretty much nullifies the point of being 'heartfelt'. So, I'm not. Just know that I'd even keep your picture in my pass-pert.
- I remember that two or three weeks when I wanted to fight you and beat the fuck out of you, and laugh to myself. Lol. Now, I couldn't imagine hitting you or hurting you to physically cause you pain. Ily! I'd say 'no coco', but guess what? I love you so much I don't care if it's homo, hetero, coco, loco, mocho, mocha, brown, lalaland, flojo, or homeless. I'm not a poet and I'm not great with words, so I just leave it at this.
I still want to get the 'fate and faith' tattoo, but for a different reason.
Fate has put me into certain situations, and faith will help me prevail.
Things on my mind:
- I'm glad you're in my life but I don't know if I'll be able to make it without you being here with me. I love you so much that it's gonna be hard for me not to be able to call you anytime I want, and not to just pop up over your house when I need someone to talk to. It's gonna be too hard for me to handle, and I think I might lose it.
- Many people proclaim you as a God and I think you're believing it too. A God amongst sinners in the course of an apocalypse, I'd say. Searching for someone to depend on, latching on to the first thing that offers sanctuary. Even if that sanctuary will be the first to collapse and fall under the weight of another false idol.
- Let's go to sleep in Paris and wake up in Tokyo.
- I feel obliged to write something about you, which pretty much nullifies the point of being 'heartfelt'. So, I'm not. Just know that I'd even keep your picture in my pass-pert.
- I remember that two or three weeks when I wanted to fight you and beat the fuck out of you, and laugh to myself. Lol. Now, I couldn't imagine hitting you or hurting you to physically cause you pain. Ily! I'd say 'no coco', but guess what? I love you so much I don't care if it's homo, hetero, coco, loco, mocho, mocha, brown, lalaland, flojo, or homeless. I'm not a poet and I'm not great with words, so I just leave it at this.
- bear & bare.
4 comments:
Khloeee.
When I say you're a diluted version of Taqee, I don't mean that you're malicious, rude or intentionally condescending and demeaning to folks, because I don't view him as being that way, either. To me, you're just the most sarcastic and blunt of all the girls we all hang with, and he's definitely the most sarcastic and blunt of all the guys.
Don't take it as being a bad thing, and don't think that anyone meant it to say you're an asshole or bitch, because that's definitely not where I was going with it.
Love youuu!
Well, if it matters to you any, I never thought you were mean. Sarcastic - yes. But who doesn't like a little sarcasim? Sometimes people misinterpret things we do for other qualities that we don't think we have at all.
& who knows, you all could be equally misunderstanding each other. I'm sure they didn't mean it the way it might have seemed.
I'm sooo happy for your little Gay relationship too, btw.
=]
cute page.
aww snaps don't i feel loved. love you too!
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