i'm feeling yummy head to toe.

I am boring the everloving fuckery out of myself.
Maybe it's that dying 'I need to get back into school' thing.
I need that pinnacle of socialization.
I neeeeeeeeeeeed itttttttttttttttt.
It's beginning to affect my relationships, me thinks.
If I don't do something exciting, I might blow myself away.
It's not ... 'Khloe' to be ... traditional or to have a pattern.




Sometimes, I think I might seriously be bisexual ... except I don't want to be with girls, just fuck `em. No homo. And I don't want to do anything TO them. Maybe I'm just greedy? Ignore this. I'm a tad tipsy.

I miss the fuckerytownshit out of Rodney.
Can't even explain why.
Besides the fact that he was a great person, with a ... different sense of humor.
And now that we're both in relationships, there's none of that sexual tension thing!
Me thinks we could actually be awesome friends now ... but my pride refuses to let me go out of my way to try and rekindle the relationship. If you're reading this: FUCK YOU FAG. ADD ME OR SOMETHING.
& Of course, I miss Breon. He moved to London. He's about to do something great with his life. He's the ONLY reason I even fucked up my life/high school career and went to Renaissance ... I thought that I could follow in his footsteps. Slowly realizing that I can't .... never could. Fuck, that sucks.
I even miss my dad. :(
Another case of pride.
It's way too difficult for me to put the entire 'incident' aside and just pretend nothing happened and continue along with him pretending to be my dad again ...
But he's trying to be a parent now more than ever before.
& I can't really blame him for being a shitty parent. HIS parents were shitty, and I'm pretty sure HIS PARENT'S PARENTS were shitty ... it's a cycle of shittiness that I feel obligated to break ... if not, then there's yet another cycle that I chose to facilitate.
He sent me a picture of the puppy he got today. He has a Neopolitan Mastiff. I try to pretend that I'm completely unfeeling towards anything he does, but it's a facade. It's difficult not to love someone who you've been taught to love and admire your entire life.



And now I make my exit ...