It's Finals time yet again.
And after this first final, I'm feeling fucking robbed.
Between my personal knowledge and
that study sheet, I COULDN'T GOTTEN A B.
A B+, EASY.
But no. She had to make it 150 questions.
And she had to give us our scantrons 45
minutes into class.
Great, Ms. Polk. GREAT TEACHER, YOU ARE!

So, at this point, I've come to this conclusion:
why do I care??
These finals do not determine my IQ, how successful
I am, how successful I'll be in the future, or any
aspect of my life.
I'm not saying that I give up, but ehh...fuck a final.

In the meantime, I'm happy.
Why? Because.
Yup. =]
rngtinyitgnyh !

♥

Kanye West suggests that you don't complain without offering a solution ...
Well.
My complaint: Everyone is so negative and down about
what's 'wrong' with their life. Every single person
experiences pain. What makes yours greater than
another's suffering? What makes your heartache
greater than the stomachache of a starving child in
Africa? It doesn't. As the human race, we all suffer.
But, it 'burns my britches' when people complain
about petty shit. (And don't get it mistaken, when I say
shit like "I`m not pretty", it's not a complaint ; it's
a personal viewpoint.)

Anyway ... complaining about petty shit.
What the hell? Why are you complaining
that you don't have nice enough clothes when
you could be in the hospital, going through
chemotherapy? Please, people, be thankful
for what you have, not what you don't.
If you live in the 'could be`s', you'll forget
what is.

Sorry, this blog's long.

Ok, not too long ago, someone who I consider myself close to
admitted that they liked me. His name shall only be disclosed
as 'Pencil'. & I liked Pencil. Keyword: liked.
Don't get me wrong: he's flatout amazing. Any girl who has
the opportunity to date him will be a lucky bitch.
But the thing is ... I don't know if I deserve to be that person.
I'm absolutely mad/bonks, and I don't think he's capable of handling
it all. I'm not going to put that on him. I don't fault him for it.
So, to Pencil, I'm sorry I didn't say this TO you, but eyy, it's been said.
You'll still always have a place in my heart, but as of the here & now:
we aren't gonna work.

Then, there's someone else. He doesn't even get a nickname.
"He don't even got a name, he just lives in my brain."
Even if we never work, or nothing happens, or you
end up seeing me like your little sister, guess what,
fuckhead? I'm still gonna like you. You're too amazing
for me not to. I know it seems like I throw the word amazing
around, but I only use it for people who deserve it.
& You do, sire. So, for now, you have a tiny piece of my heart.
Break it if you feel the necessity.
But, the cards are on YOUR table. I'm open for a game of poker.

♥

This is a picture entry.
But ... before that, I'm copying something I wrote in a hard copy journal a while ago ...

Marilyn Monroe once said "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." I've never loved and rarely believe, and in true discourse, I have left.
But what happens when unhappiness still broods and infects the mind in the way cancer attacks the body? What becomes of one who's entire being is engulfed by no other fleeting emotions sans desperation and frustration?
Do they falter ... persevere ... advance? What defines the greatness of leaders? The ability to persevere or to manipuate? The crossroads has approached. The end and rebirth are near. Unlike the phoenix, this rebirth does not spawn the same futile creature forced to live and die for the sake of a repetitious cycle. This rebirth spawns anew.

Damnnnn, daddy. Now for those pics.


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The end.
Comment on your favorite, por favor.

Ok, so I didn't go to the Glow in the Dark concert [grumbles & cries]
But whatever. Win some, lose some.
But, my friend did "bring me back" Kanye's inspirational book thinger.
Shit's actually inspirational.
My favorite line was 'Sometimes, crazy is just a label the average put on the exceptional.'

Be back later.
Going back to school to get my Chem book.

♥

It's 6:54 am.
Guess what I'm doing?
Baking cookies and listening to 'Fireworks'.

P.S.: To the person who sent it to me, I don't find it scary.
It makes me happy, for whatever reason.

I've seen your face a thousand times
Have all your stories memorized
Kissed your lips a million ways
But I'd still like to have you around

And you're the one I want
And it's not just a phase
And you're the one I trust
Our love is the real thing
Don't go away, my love.
I'm happiest when we spend time ...

Thanks, Gwen Stefani. Now I'm depressed.
It's quite pathetic if I choose to use my insight.
But fuck it: I'm not about to self-analyze.
I'm SAD.
I WANT TO SUFFER.
I have my 'sad music' iTunes playlist open and ready.
I'd like to cry and watch my tears fall and feel the way I do now.
Beauty broods from pain.

I'm tired of 'falling' for the "wrong" people.
So I choose not to fall anymore.
=)
That picture blog's still coming!

I'd like a guy who respects my intelligence, and doesn't admire my submission.
A guy who isn't afraid to flaunt his insight.
One who accepts his flaws, but loves himself for them.
A guy who adores my quirks and idiosyncrasies.
Why thee fuck should I change?
Not to toot my own horn, but, I'm a pretty cool person.
I'm friendly.
I'm complex.
I'm smart.
And I have boobs. And a vagina!
What more could you want?!
=)

ce jeu

Po-tay-toe.
Pah-tah-toe.
Toe-may-toe.
Zucchini.

:D

As silly as that sounds, it means so MUCH if you understand it.
That's my life.
Everyone thinks one way: I see something that doesn't belong.
It feels like CRAP knowing that I can't articulate how I feel the majority of the time.
Seriously, now.

Anyway, Ms. Troup had her flash drive stolen, which makes me laugh.
I've always been a strong believer in the universe giving you what you ask for.
And that broad has been BEGGING the universe for bad karma.
I can't feel bad. It's her fault that she doesn't have any type of backup for her grades, and that all she has was ON that flash drive. Come on, now, ma'am.
You've been teaching for how many years now ... and all you've learned is to make people do powerpoints?!
D'zayummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Little things make me laugh.

They say that you don't realize what you've got until it's gone.
Well, isn't that just a flat out bitch?
Why do I only see the greatness of what I could've had after it's left me?!
WHY DO THINGS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.
FINALLY, I LIKE HIM.
AFTER ALL OF THIS DAMN TIME, I LIKE HIM.
But, he likes others, and I can't bring myself to put in enough effort to make him like me (again.)
Damn you, brain.
Damn you, irony.
DAMN YOU BOTH TO WEST HADES.

Alas, that's not what this blog is about.
It's about my body issues.
Or lack thereof, depending on how you look at it.
To put it simply: I'm beginning to love my body.
It's not perfect. I'll never have a huge chest, tiny waist, wide hips, and big ass.
But, I'd look odd if I were built that way regardless.
Somehow, I like my big boobs, normal waist, nice legs, and tiny feet.
[shrug] So be it.

losing my mind.

For all purposes, his name is Jorge.
Don't ask why: since I don't exactly have a reason, lmao.

Let me just say that I've seriously liked Jorge pretty much since we first started speaking to each other[which was in ... November?] He's just so ... easy to talk to. Even if he isn't listening, he'll look like it. I've told so many people that I didn't like him, or that I don't want to. The latter is true. I don't want to like him. It's too consuming. I get tired of questioning if someone likes me or not, when I genuinely believe they don't. It's just so HARD to get people to tell you the truth these days, though.

Jorge, Jorge, Jorge.

Plus, even if Jorge DID like me, that'd be ... it.
We wouldn't get into a relationship with each other.
Why?
Because of who he's friends with, and who I'm friends with.
Since I like ALL people, and his friends like ... the 'popular' kids, there's a problem.
I accept all people [except for those named Jessica Crenshaw :D].
His friends don't, though. His friends only accept those similar to them.
And there's no point in me being in a relationship with someone who's friends are just gonna fry thee fuck out of me all the time. I can take jokes, but when you're serious ... bitch, please.

I said I'd let things play out.
I said that in January.
Now it's fucking May and NOTHING HAS PLAYED OUT.
MAKE A MOVE OR SAY SOMETHING, DICKHEAD.
:D

.... Then there's .... ah, fuck it, his name's Rodney.
Cool as SHIT.
Didn't have to force myself to like him.
Didn't have to stop being a weird ass in front of him.
He wants to fuck. [sorry, blunt.]
And as bad as it is, so do I.
I reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy do.
But, I'm not going to.
Not until I'm sure that we'll still be friends afterwards.
I'm not about to lose a friend over buttsex.

Lmao, since I'm rambling, let's talk about KYLIE.
KYLIE FUCKING BUKKIT.




I'll say nothing else about him.
=)

But anyway, today wasn't memorable for shit, aside from Jorge acting strangely towards me.
Fck you, nigger. I can act strangely too!

WATCH ME, DAWG.

Lmao, g'bye.

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This is supposed to be an introduction. I'm not great with those.

Instead, how about we learn a few things about each other first? Kay?

I take entirely too many pictures of myself a day. It's a bad habit.
I've been eagerly anticipating the release of GTA4, only to discover [not too long ago] that it was only for PS3 and the 360. Bullshit, I say.



I'll steal one. :D

I'm a SERIOUSLY friendly person. I've talked to random people on buses, and asked strangers if they had coke, and now I'm friends with them.

I like bright shits & hello kitty.

I abuse racial slurs.

People mistake me as being mixed. Believe me, I'm not.

I'm a 16 year old girl.

The end.